Oh my it's already Sunday, where did the weekend go? Well lets see .... Friday after work I met my sister and got Becca, Katie Grace and Lydia went to NC for the weekend. Got home and waited on my son to get home from swimming and for it to cool down so we could ride over to the Relay for Life in Abbeville. :) So me, my son, Becca, and Meagan and Kyle rode over to Abbeville I'd guess for an hour then headed back. The baby cried all the way home :( Got her a bottle and she was just fine. Got her to sleep then me and my son crashed for the night ... he had to get up early the next morning because he had things he wanted to get done.

Well the next morning my sister got there to get the baby and I let her in and my dog out and I went back to sleep only to be woke up right after she left by the dog scratching to get back in. :( So I went ahead and got up and fixed my milk went and went and told my son that he wanted to get up early. LOL We both sleep late every Saturday. Well I went and got back in my bed read a few pages in my book and went back to sleep. I remember my son trying to wake me up but I was just too tired to get up so he ended up calling his dad and getting him to do the things for him that that he wanted me to do with him. :( I didn't even know he was gone and didn't even hear my phone ring. Well by the time he got home I was awake but he didn't want anything to do with me he was rushing around trying to get back out the door ... he's gone on a fishing trip for a few days. So I got me a shower and headed out to the grocery store and I went at the wrong time let me tell you I wanted to buy this to fix to eat and that to fix to eat LOL and I don't fix anything hardly ever at home to eat. Got home put the groceries up and sat down and waited for my sister to bring the baby so I could go out to eat. :) Went to eat and the baby was great until I put her in the car to go back home and she cried all the way home and then cried until she went to sleep except for when she had a bottle in her mouth. :( Not sure why she doesn't like to sit in the swing or lay on a pallet but let me tell you she doesn't. Got her to bed then I did my settling down time reading and watching TV. I didn't realize how good I had it with my son until now. I get to do my settling down time early when it's just me and him and I get to bed around 9 or shortly after. :) Since I've been helping my sister out I don't get to settle down myself until after 9 now.

Sunday I got up to the baby fixing a very smelly present for her mom. LOL :) My sister had told me that instead of waking us up she'd wait until we woke up and she take a nap in her car. :) That's why I said Becca fixed her mom a present ... I got to just go outside wake her up and tell her she had a very nice present inside. LOL Well I got ready for church and ended up with a little extra time so I laid down watching TV and woke up at 2 pm. :( So I fixed me a salad for lunch and piddled around and watched TV losing track of time again. I had planned on having my bath out of the way and cooking before my sister brought Becca back but that didn't happen. So I ended up cooking a cheap pizza instead of cooking the chicken I had gotten to cook. I'm not sure how my sister can cook or get a bath in the evenings. Becca cried the whole time I was in the tub and the while I had my super. :( She had already had 2 bottles so she should have been a happy camper but she wasn't ... my mom calls her the hip baby.

I decided last night that when my children have babies I'll watch them for an hour or 2 but that will be it. Now once they are walking and can bathe themselves they can spend the night. :) I'm just to set in my ways for little ones right now is all I can figure out. I don't mind them visiting but once it's time to settle down for the evening visiting time is over. LOL Good thing I wasn't like that with my 2 but I don't remember ever having to hold them continually ... I could put them in the playpen or the swing and they were just as happy as if I were holding them. Maybe I was just lucky I don't have a clue.

Oh I have great news ... I've been smoke free for 2 whole days working on day 3 now. :) I'm so excited about this because this has been very hard for me. Especially the last 2 nights I was ready to pull my hair out to go smoke but I worked through it. I finally told my mom yesterday ... I wanted to wait until I could say I hadn't smoked at all to tell her. She was like I knew you didn't smell like smoke when you were picking up Matthew but didn't know you were quitting. This coming July 6th or 7th she will be quit for a year. I think she told me her quit date was the day I got married which would have been the 7th. I can't believe it's been almost a yr since I had married Tommy and before I know it it will be October a year since he sent a text telling me he had a girl friend. I've come a long way since that day in October and can actually say that things are going pretty good. Yeah I still have bad days but more good days than bad now. :) I actually dreamed about Tommy last week but I think that had something to do w/his brother being at church June 1st. His brother wouldn't even look at me much less speak to me. :( I'm guessing that he was just feeling too quilt for his part of the destruction of my life. He knew exactly how his brother was doing and still married us knowing that his brother wasn't being faithful to me the whole time. I still haven't figured out how he played it off ... I thought we talked about everything and shared everything ... when he was sick I'd be sick ... it was just weird ... we were great together or so I thought. Oh boy I was very wrong!!! I think I went off on a tangent here ... LOL I also just realize I haven't been taking my happy pill with everything going on I've forgotten to take it. :(

Oh I'm backing to reading the book "Boundaries" and let me tell you I'm learning a lot of information and I've only read not even 1/2 of the book. The main thing that I've learned in the past week since I started back reading this book is that I am going to take back control of my life!! I am not going to let people manipulate me anymore!! Why should I? Yeah people will turn their backs on me and yeah that will hurt but in the long run I'll be a lot better off. :) Guess I'll have to let you know on that one ... I'm talking pretty BIG but this book makes you want to talk pretty BIG. ha-ha Hope that I will be able to handle this phase of my life ... hey I really think this will be a piece of cake compared to the things of my past that I've been through ... now I've just got to find the guts to set my boundaries and not let ANY cross them. :) Quote from the book "God had no problem telling Paul that he would not take away his thorn. He tells all of us NO quite often! God doesn't worry this his boundaries will injure us. He knows we are to take responsibility for our lives -- and sometimes NO helps us do just that." Why should I worry about about my boundaries hurting someone .... re-read the quote above.

Well I think I'm going to stop here for today may or may not write some more this evening ... that will depend on the number of chores I get done. ha-ha

Oh yeah I did start this on Sunday but didn't finish so wrote some more today Monday. LOL

~LaTeR~