I made it another day :) I'm thinking at this moment that my friend from church last night was very right about what she said. She asked me if I was okay because she seemed to think I wasn't all there. (Guess that could be funny) I know I took notes last night so that is a good thing and I enjoyed the Bible study last night but couldn't tell you anything about it. (Now that's sad) I did request the CD from Sundays service but wrote down the wrong date LOL but noticed that after church and changed the date. I must tell you though it's been a rough week for me all the way around, but you know what I'm just not going to let that get me down!!!

Well Matthew is still upset with me, he thinks he is going to have an awful Birthday and that I don't love him. He is just so WRONG!!!! Now I'm trying to figure out how to get the mystery gifts wraps without him knowing what they are. My mom is taking care of one of them for me so I really only have to figure out one of them. Do I wrap it in a box of cereal that he's eating out of, a new box, an empty box or maybe a shirt box? Hmmm I could take an envelope box from work put it in the bottom and then empty my shredded paper on top. :) It's just got to be something original.

It's now after lunch ... went to Maria's with a friend today instead of eating by myself. My headache I had is gone and I feel in better spirits now. :-) Guess there's nothing like good fellowship with a buddy. I'm hoping my afternoon is going to be kind of fast paced but I forgot my I-Pod so it's kind of boring at my desk without it to listen to. Oh I'm going to eat with a friend tonight too and what makes all this funny to me my devotion today was "Disconnectedness" now how about that. I'll insert the devotion so that you can read what it had to say. :)

One sign of depression is a feeling of disconnectedness. You no longer feel that you are connected to other people. You aren't sure if you know how to connect with people anymore.

Not being able to relate to others is a serious loss, but it is a loss you can grieve and then remedy. Express your feelings of disconnectedness to God and then to another person: "I feel alone. No one understands me. I feel uncomfortable around people. Other people feel uncomfortable around me. I'm just bringing everyone down."

After you have acknowledged, expressed, and grieved your emotions, you must take steps to build friendships again. You need your family and friends to make it through this tough time.

James shares his experience: "I was driving home one day, and I told God that I wouldn't mind spending time with friends—maybe see a movie, watch a video, or get a pizza. That was my prayer.

"I went home, and soon after there was a knock on my door. The two friends at my doorstep, who had been to my house only twice in about six months, said, 'James, we're going to pick up videos and get a pizza.' So here it was, not fifteen minutes later, and I received answers to all three prayers. That is not a coincidence. God was visible. He said, 'James, I am always here. You just gotta see Me.'"

Remember, at this stage in your healing, it is important to focus on friendships with people of the same sex. You need more time to heal before you become romantically involved. (I disagree with this statement about "focus on friendships with people of the same sex" a friend is a friend regardless if it's a guy or a gal why to opposite sex relationship have to be considered romantically involved???)

"By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst" (Ecclesiastes 4:12 Msg).

Lord God, I need to express my needs to You. Help me to get up, get out of the house, and spend time with people. Amen.

Here lately I've been getting some pretty good devotions and signs about things in my life. It's hard to explain but if you rely on God he will take care of your needs ... may not be the way or time you'd like but trust me he takes care of you ... just look at me. ;-) Look around at others.

Oh I do remember some of what was going on at church last night ... we start last week about "BEING CHRISTIAN" and continued with it this week. He was talking about putting on Christ and not putting on Christ to fit us but for us to fit to Christ. You just had to be there he explained it a lot better than I could. He did a comparison of a sweater being dried in the dryer and you having to stretch it out this way and that way to be able to put it on. He was almost in tears at the end when he was talking about area churches being torn and it was just so very touching. But from what I've been told they keep it REAL over there thus the name of the church. I know when I go meet with the pastor and his wife I will make sure he is told how friendly the church is and how welcome I have been made to feel there. I've been in church all my life on and off and been to a total of 4 churches and I think this church is the friendliest one I've attended. I really enjoy being there and feel like this is the church the Lord wants me at so I'm praying that my son will start to enjoy it as well. I must say I'm a tad bit nervous about meeting with the pastor and his wife ... I'd have to say that as a grown up this will be my first time.

Well I gues I'm going to stop here for today ... I'm sure if anyone is reading this I have bored them enough toay. :-)

God is Good, He is still in Control, and He's Worthy to be Praised and Honored!!!